Here’s a fact, my daughter's are both Black & Puerto Rican. When my 1st born baby girl was only 5 she came to me and expressed how much it hurt her that she looked different than me. She said “you’re my mommy but I’m not pretty like you, I want to look like you, I want the same skin color as you and I want my hair long like yours, I don’t want shorter hair than you momma, I want mine to grow”.
That was one of the most devastating things I ever had to hear from the child I lived for, my first true love, my first born, my air, the reason for my existence. As a mother it hurt my entire being, I cried with my baby and I told her the truth is she’s prettier than me. Her caramel complexion was the most beautiful color ever and that’s why fair skinned people spend a lot of money just for a tan, her little face was the prettiest face I’ve ever seen in my life and I told her hair is nothing, I chopped my hair off from that moment on and rocked a bob cut for many years just so my baby’s hair could be longer than mine. I hadn’t realized being biracial would have my child wishing she was fully Puerto Rican but it did, she was wishing to be just like me.
Till this day sometimes I cry about it, I’m so glad she was able to come to me about her feelings because that’s a hard thing even for adults to do. I just started praising her black roots, I taught her how Puerto Rican’s are actually a mixture of more than one origin and not very different at all. I taught her that we aren’t white, we too are what the world categorizes as minorities. I taught her how the mixed race was going to be the majority in the future and how when black and brown people come together we are the real majority. She met my grandpa before he passed away who was the same color of rich dark chocolate and laughed because she was lighter than him yet he was fully Puerto Rican from the island. I taught her how black is beautiful. I filtered everything from television to games to books to dolls, everything had to be black. No more programming that showed the majority as white. I made it my business to teach my child how to love who she was. I taught her the beauty in being the best of both worlds. I let her experiment with her hair however she wanted to all the while keeping mine short. It wasn’t until my child was confident about who she was and embraced both sides of her dna that I stopped cutting my hair. I didn’t see it as a sacrifice, for me it was my job to teach this little girl I made how amazing her culture is, how dope it is to be Black! She no longer wants lighter skin, she now knows how beautiful she is, she loves herself and she is fully educated on the history of Blacks & Puerto Ricans. She loves her mix! She now knows she’s the best of both worlds.
Ignorant Puerto Rican’s label me a “Daña Raza” which means “Race Ruiner” I beg to differ, I didn’t ruin a race, I blended two of the best races into one amazing human being and made a race that will dominate racism! I don’t care about the color of your skin, I care about what’s within. Mixed Nation!
Here's a picture of us in 2010 after I chopped my hair off for her. As parents we must do whatever it takes to teach our children the root of all love begins within.
I DID THAT!
#motherhood #mixedrace #black #puertorican #daughter #mother #love #self #racism